As the new year started I thought a review of last year could be more helpful than establishing brand new set of New Year Resolutions.
I have actually set for myself a steep learning curve on a lot of topics and have established a whole set of resolutions back in July. Now, I do like the notion of the new year bringing about new energy, fresh start and overall excitement to tackle new things. However I still have a lot of work to be done on those past resolutions and so why to set new ones? I prefer to look at it as a review and use this new year’s energy to get these goals accomplished.
This past year has been rather transformative and I have taken on several goals. Besides focusing and working on establishing myself as an artist most of these are actually related to my personal qualities (weaknesses) and self-development, realising that I have rather neglected this area for a long time. Reassessing and questioning my own believes and goals is something that has turned into a massive undertaking.
For example finding that my identity has almost entirely been moulded by and closely tied up to the profession and work I have been doing is a realisation you experience only upon stepping away form it.
Now, WHO AM I, if I’m not a ballet dancer, performer, principal dancer, Romeo, Siegfried, Men in Red, Franz, good turner, prince, Kostya, Nijinsky, partner, 2nd couple, Apollo, Lensky, great legs and feet, Basilio, White couple, Des Grieux, Conrad, humble, noble, Turning Boy, Florimund, Albrecht,….?
Interesting question, which manifests it’s complexities as one starts digging and from this newly discovered perspective starts to realise how the world of performing arts and specifically ballet intentionally discourage people to be independent, free thinking, grown up and above all artists. How paradoxical.
Turning away from criticisiing the people and directors I have worked with and who's ego and vast knowledge off "everything" ( pardon the sarcasm ) has always got in the way of a good advice, I shall now pivot the spotlight back on me and my work and indulge myself with a freedom of expression and independence which I have always thought to have lack of.
Of course fine art world is no less intriguing and navigating through it would perhaps mean replicating similar encounters, however I shall challenge myself to have a greater respect for myself and my work and along the way try to encourage others to do the same.
"minimalist in life, maximalist in sarcasm"
The image is from a series of photographs I shot on the beach in Puglia, Italy couple summers ago. I indulge my imagination in the metaphor that an object can cast larger shadow then it's size.